I thought all my fellow jobseekers out there would enjoy this humorous example of a rejection letter that I stumbled across .......
A DIFFERENT KIND OF “EMPLOYMENT REJECTION” LETTER (Something To Lighten Up Your Job Search!!!)
999 Likely Lane LUCKSVILLE WA 6060
20 October 2009
Professor Reid Iculus Department of Opportunity University of Absolute Nonsense 123 Jobsearch Junction PERTH WA 6000
RE: Assistant Professor
Dear Professor Iculus
Thank you for your letter dated 12 October 2009.
After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.
This year, I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite the University Of Nonsense’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department in November.
I look forward to seeing you then.
I wish you luck in rejecting future applicants.
Yours sincerely
A Jobseeker
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Reinvention for Sanity During Job Search
At around the six-month mark after losing my job, I realized that I’d started branding myself as an unemployed person. That was starting to feel depressing. So I repositioned myself in my own mind.
I started doing online certifications to strengthen my resume. At social settings, when people asked me what I do, I start answering, “I’m a Internet marketer.” Even though I still have not yet seen the light at the end of the tunnel, answering the question that way made a big difference to my mental health.
I find that the only way to get successful at a new plan is through optimistic self-labeling: telling the world that you’re already doing the thing you want to do.
It’s exuberant to change how you label yourself, especially if the new label is aspirational: something that you want to be, rather than something you already are.
Maybe that's why 'The Secret' has sold 500,000 copies in 6 months.
I started doing online certifications to strengthen my resume. At social settings, when people asked me what I do, I start answering, “I’m a Internet marketer.” Even though I still have not yet seen the light at the end of the tunnel, answering the question that way made a big difference to my mental health.
I find that the only way to get successful at a new plan is through optimistic self-labeling: telling the world that you’re already doing the thing you want to do.
It’s exuberant to change how you label yourself, especially if the new label is aspirational: something that you want to be, rather than something you already are.
Maybe that's why 'The Secret' has sold 500,000 copies in 6 months.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Pick Your Brain for Free In A Job Interview?
update: different point of view on giving your work away
I came across this article and I have a semi-related TINY thought about this; TINY in caps: Don't work for free in a job interview
Going through perpetual interviews is the story of my life right now. The process requires hours of preparation, putting on my best smile, clever answers, active follow ups and wait! the toughest part yet is to wait for the reply(or the lack of).
But, let's zoom in on the interview:
Sometimes, some companies (mostly start-ups) would ask interviewees to give feedback on how to better their situation, website, products...etc.
I have been in a couple of situations where a business decision can not be made THEN, the CEO would say: 'let's run an job ad and get people to come and see what they say'. Most of the time, the ad would read: 'contract work but potential to full time employment due to rapid growth of company' (I am not saying that contract work isn't the way to get your foot into the door; it is but some situations are a little trickier than others)
Most recently, I find myself in an interview where the CEO spilled his guts about his business conundrum. He started his interview racing through the thought process of running this type of job post:
1. He needs a warm body to answer the phone while his project manager is on a 2-weeks vacation.
2. He has decided that whoever that he hired for this short period of time will only be able to twirl fingers when the phone isn't ringing.
3. He CAN have whoever he hires to work on 1. design 2. SEO or 3. case study but he went ahead and said but I don't need people doing them later so I don't see the money well spent.
4. Then, he talked about how he wanted the company to remain small and cost driven. (I could appreciate that) He could have hired an intern for 3-6 months without paying but he does not trust the quality of the intern.
Result, he met with 10 qualifying candidates for interview out of 50 resumes and asked them to go back and think about what WE can contribute and solve this for him.
I left the interview with mixed feelings; I am frustrated with the job market and needless to say that I will not be able to help. I am walking away not because this contract is beneath me (I very much enjoy the social media product this company presents) but I just do not agree with this type of business conduct. Even if it leads to a full term job, I would keep wondering: is this where I want to position myself?
Moral of the story? I have learned to stick to my professional boundaries. I know what I want. (universe, do you hear me?)
"I am firmly against people giving away something for nothing,"said Beck, who likens such requests from hiring managers as robbery. I give thumbs up to this!
I came across this article and I have a semi-related TINY thought about this; TINY in caps: Don't work for free in a job interview
Going through perpetual interviews is the story of my life right now. The process requires hours of preparation, putting on my best smile, clever answers, active follow ups and wait! the toughest part yet is to wait for the reply(or the lack of).
But, let's zoom in on the interview:
Sometimes, some companies (mostly start-ups) would ask interviewees to give feedback on how to better their situation, website, products...etc.
I have been in a couple of situations where a business decision can not be made THEN, the CEO would say: 'let's run an job ad and get people to come and see what they say'. Most of the time, the ad would read: 'contract work but potential to full time employment due to rapid growth of company' (I am not saying that contract work isn't the way to get your foot into the door; it is but some situations are a little trickier than others)
Most recently, I find myself in an interview where the CEO spilled his guts about his business conundrum. He started his interview racing through the thought process of running this type of job post:
1. He needs a warm body to answer the phone while his project manager is on a 2-weeks vacation.
2. He has decided that whoever that he hired for this short period of time will only be able to twirl fingers when the phone isn't ringing.
3. He CAN have whoever he hires to work on 1. design 2. SEO or 3. case study but he went ahead and said but I don't need people doing them later so I don't see the money well spent.
4. Then, he talked about how he wanted the company to remain small and cost driven. (I could appreciate that) He could have hired an intern for 3-6 months without paying but he does not trust the quality of the intern.
Result, he met with 10 qualifying candidates for interview out of 50 resumes and asked them to go back and think about what WE can contribute and solve this for him.
I left the interview with mixed feelings; I am frustrated with the job market and needless to say that I will not be able to help. I am walking away not because this contract is beneath me (I very much enjoy the social media product this company presents) but I just do not agree with this type of business conduct. Even if it leads to a full term job, I would keep wondering: is this where I want to position myself?
Moral of the story? I have learned to stick to my professional boundaries. I know what I want. (universe, do you hear me?)
"I am firmly against people giving away something for nothing,"said Beck, who likens such requests from hiring managers as robbery. I give thumbs up to this!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
331 Miles: Getting Two Job Offers During the Recession
331 Miles: Getting Two Job Offers During the Recession
I found this blog very helpful! ESPECIALLY...
Turned Down Inferior Positions
I wasn't scared to tell potential employers that I wasn't interested. It's a key part of building your career, even if you're hungry for employment. I told two different employers, Eaton and Scott Fertilizer, that I was not interested in pursuing the opportunity they presented. It scared me to do it, but I knew that the jobs were not right for my career. If I had accepted one, I would have missed out on two very good offers.
I have been on the job search for a while now! since (gulp) the "restructure of the company". I have had numerous information interviews, phone interviews, first interviews, second interviews and FINALLY, just as I thought that my effort was about to be paid off: It led to a disappointing offer and I just HAD TO walk away.(trust me, I did negotiate that offer)IT HURT, really and that was months ago! I still have second thoughts about the decision, not only because it was a great company but also that I think I am leading towards more to job hop theory now (not then, but now I think to myself: THAT is a decent idea)
BIG oh well! Just had to focus and move on with more certainty! I hope my phone interview tomorrow will lead to a face to face interview then second interview, then 'let's close the deal, baby!'
MOMENTUM, now I can only: Be Bold, Play, Keep at it!
I found this blog very helpful! ESPECIALLY...
Turned Down Inferior Positions
I wasn't scared to tell potential employers that I wasn't interested. It's a key part of building your career, even if you're hungry for employment. I told two different employers, Eaton and Scott Fertilizer, that I was not interested in pursuing the opportunity they presented. It scared me to do it, but I knew that the jobs were not right for my career. If I had accepted one, I would have missed out on two very good offers.
I have been on the job search for a while now! since (gulp) the "restructure of the company". I have had numerous information interviews, phone interviews, first interviews, second interviews and FINALLY, just as I thought that my effort was about to be paid off: It led to a disappointing offer and I just HAD TO walk away.(trust me, I did negotiate that offer)IT HURT, really and that was months ago! I still have second thoughts about the decision, not only because it was a great company but also that I think I am leading towards more to job hop theory now (not then, but now I think to myself: THAT is a decent idea)
BIG oh well! Just had to focus and move on with more certainty! I hope my phone interview tomorrow will lead to a face to face interview then second interview, then 'let's close the deal, baby!'
MOMENTUM, now I can only: Be Bold, Play, Keep at it!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Vows - Aretha Davis and Angelo Volandes
AS far as destination weddings go, having one at an orphanage near Calcutta is no doubt unusual. But so was the 20-year odyssey that brought Aretha Davis and Dr. Angelo Volandes to that location.
They met in 1989 in a freshman ethics class at Harvard. He was a handsome philosophy major from Brooklyn with black turtlenecks, slicked-back hair and compelling rhetoric.
Ms. Davis was soft-voiced and strong-willed. She wore her father’s fedora “with the feather,” she said, along with leather high-tops and Coke-bottle-thick eyeglasses.
It was her impassioned empathy for those less fortunate that mesmerized Dr. Volandes, now 38. “Aretha has boundless love,” he said.
They bonded over their shared perspective as first-generation Americans; her parents came from Guyana and his from Greece. Dr. Volandes, who bused tables at his father’s Greek diner, said they both grew up in families that prioritized hard work and helping others.
They started doing volunteer work together and engaged in endless hours of ardent debates — on every topic other than romance.
“We were two nerdy people,” said Ms. Davis, 37.
The relationship remained platonic. But in their junior year, Ms. Davis, who describes herself as a late bloomer, “developed some curves,” she said, recalling with amusement that “Angelo looked at me differently.”
Gone were her thick prescription glasses and fedora. Instead, she had contact lenses and cascading cornrows. “All the sudden she was this voluptuous woman,” said Dr. Volandes, now a medical ethicist at Harvard who specializes in end-of-life decision-making.
As one who spent Saturday nights in the library, he wasn’t sure how to proceed. It took him until their senior year in 1993 to send her a Valentine’s Day card, albeit an ambiguous one. “As soon as she read it, she ran back to my dorm room livid,” he said, remembering the interrogation that followed. Cornered, he admitted his feelings, and they tearfully embraced.
After graduating that spring, they received fellowships; she did nutrition research at a Guyanese orphanage, and he studied healing traditions in Greece and Egypt.
Deeply in love, Ms. Davis looked forward to taking their relationship to the next level when they returned for grad school.
Dr. Volandes, contemplative by nature, felt pressured. “At 21, she was ready to get married,” he said. “I wasn’t.” He abruptly broke up with her in 1994, insisting it was prudent for them to stay focused on their studies, law for her and medicine for him.
She was shattered, she said, and they didn’t speak for six years.
“There wasn’t a day when I didn’t think about Aretha,” Dr. Volandes said. Yet he never told her, even when his medical residency took him to Philadelphia, where she was working as a lawyer. “I imagined some other lucky guy was already married to her.”
But while Christmas shopping in 2000, Ms. Davis spotted him post-call, unshaven and bleary-eyed. “I had practiced all these things I was going to say to him for years, but I felt nothing but love when I saw him,” she said.
He responded in kind. “To meet the love of your life randomly for a second time, you don’t mess up on that,” Dr. Volandes said.
But this time, marriage was not her priority, having decided to switch careers and become a doctor.
So it wasn’t until 2008, with her fourth year at Harvard Medical School on the horizon, that he proposed, quoting from C. P. Cavafy’s poem, “Ithaka” about Odysseus and his epic journey to Penelope: “As you set out for Ithaka, hope your road is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery.”
On Nov. 18, they had a brief civil ceremony in Easton, Mass., where Michael Marram, a justice of the peace, officiated in his home. Then on Dec. 13, the Rev. Andrew P. K. Mondal led a Greek Orthodox ceremony at a girls’ orphanage in India run by the Philanthropic Society of the Orthodox Church, where the bridegroom’s mother had volunteered in 2000.
“Instead of a big fat Greek wedding, we donated funds and asked our family and friends to donate funds,” Dr. Volandes said. The money will go toward college scholarships for the orphans. The couple plans to return to the orphanage each year for community service vacations, Ms. Davis said. “Our children will hopefully see the girls as their sisters.”
The 95 girls, ranging in age from 3 to 18, were both hosts and honored guests. They helped the bride prepare, wrapping her in an embroidered lehenga, painting her with henna and giving her costume jewelry.
“They have so little, but what they have they will offer,” Ms. Davis said. “The only difference between us and these girls is their parents didn’t emigrate.”
A dozen of the girls in colorful saris escorted them through a verdant courtyard and into a simple white chapel. There, the couple was joined by the rest of their 95 bridesmaids, who showered them with rose petals after they exchanged their vows.
“Our relationship has been more of a marathon than a sprint,” Ms. Davis said, sounding jubilant about where their journey had led.
“The destination is a beautiful thing,” her husband said, “but arguably the richer story is what it took to get there.”
A. Sharma contributed from Bakeswar, India.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/fashion/weddings/20VOWS.html
They met in 1989 in a freshman ethics class at Harvard. He was a handsome philosophy major from Brooklyn with black turtlenecks, slicked-back hair and compelling rhetoric.
Ms. Davis was soft-voiced and strong-willed. She wore her father’s fedora “with the feather,” she said, along with leather high-tops and Coke-bottle-thick eyeglasses.
It was her impassioned empathy for those less fortunate that mesmerized Dr. Volandes, now 38. “Aretha has boundless love,” he said.
They bonded over their shared perspective as first-generation Americans; her parents came from Guyana and his from Greece. Dr. Volandes, who bused tables at his father’s Greek diner, said they both grew up in families that prioritized hard work and helping others.
They started doing volunteer work together and engaged in endless hours of ardent debates — on every topic other than romance.
“We were two nerdy people,” said Ms. Davis, 37.
The relationship remained platonic. But in their junior year, Ms. Davis, who describes herself as a late bloomer, “developed some curves,” she said, recalling with amusement that “Angelo looked at me differently.”
Gone were her thick prescription glasses and fedora. Instead, she had contact lenses and cascading cornrows. “All the sudden she was this voluptuous woman,” said Dr. Volandes, now a medical ethicist at Harvard who specializes in end-of-life decision-making.
As one who spent Saturday nights in the library, he wasn’t sure how to proceed. It took him until their senior year in 1993 to send her a Valentine’s Day card, albeit an ambiguous one. “As soon as she read it, she ran back to my dorm room livid,” he said, remembering the interrogation that followed. Cornered, he admitted his feelings, and they tearfully embraced.
After graduating that spring, they received fellowships; she did nutrition research at a Guyanese orphanage, and he studied healing traditions in Greece and Egypt.
Deeply in love, Ms. Davis looked forward to taking their relationship to the next level when they returned for grad school.
Dr. Volandes, contemplative by nature, felt pressured. “At 21, she was ready to get married,” he said. “I wasn’t.” He abruptly broke up with her in 1994, insisting it was prudent for them to stay focused on their studies, law for her and medicine for him.
She was shattered, she said, and they didn’t speak for six years.
“There wasn’t a day when I didn’t think about Aretha,” Dr. Volandes said. Yet he never told her, even when his medical residency took him to Philadelphia, where she was working as a lawyer. “I imagined some other lucky guy was already married to her.”
But while Christmas shopping in 2000, Ms. Davis spotted him post-call, unshaven and bleary-eyed. “I had practiced all these things I was going to say to him for years, but I felt nothing but love when I saw him,” she said.
He responded in kind. “To meet the love of your life randomly for a second time, you don’t mess up on that,” Dr. Volandes said.
But this time, marriage was not her priority, having decided to switch careers and become a doctor.
So it wasn’t until 2008, with her fourth year at Harvard Medical School on the horizon, that he proposed, quoting from C. P. Cavafy’s poem, “Ithaka” about Odysseus and his epic journey to Penelope: “As you set out for Ithaka, hope your road is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery.”
On Nov. 18, they had a brief civil ceremony in Easton, Mass., where Michael Marram, a justice of the peace, officiated in his home. Then on Dec. 13, the Rev. Andrew P. K. Mondal led a Greek Orthodox ceremony at a girls’ orphanage in India run by the Philanthropic Society of the Orthodox Church, where the bridegroom’s mother had volunteered in 2000.
“Instead of a big fat Greek wedding, we donated funds and asked our family and friends to donate funds,” Dr. Volandes said. The money will go toward college scholarships for the orphans. The couple plans to return to the orphanage each year for community service vacations, Ms. Davis said. “Our children will hopefully see the girls as their sisters.”
The 95 girls, ranging in age from 3 to 18, were both hosts and honored guests. They helped the bride prepare, wrapping her in an embroidered lehenga, painting her with henna and giving her costume jewelry.
“They have so little, but what they have they will offer,” Ms. Davis said. “The only difference between us and these girls is their parents didn’t emigrate.”
A dozen of the girls in colorful saris escorted them through a verdant courtyard and into a simple white chapel. There, the couple was joined by the rest of their 95 bridesmaids, who showered them with rose petals after they exchanged their vows.
“Our relationship has been more of a marathon than a sprint,” Ms. Davis said, sounding jubilant about where their journey had led.
“The destination is a beautiful thing,” her husband said, “but arguably the richer story is what it took to get there.”
A. Sharma contributed from Bakeswar, India.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/fashion/weddings/20VOWS.html
Friday, December 25, 2009
A Short Course in Releasing
Releasing is a fantastic tool for unleashing freedom in your life! It allows you to let go of sadness and limitation, and embrace freedom and happiness. It enables you to drop negative emotion and increase positive emotion. Releasing allows you to control your feelings, rather than letting your feelings control you. In fact, I’d consider releasing to be perhaps the most important self-development technique on the planet. Sound interesting? Well, let’s start from the beginning. Emotions are how we feel.
We feel grief after the death of a family member. We feel anger when somebody rubs us up the wrong way. We feel pride when we do a great job. Emotions are useful, and help make us human. But sometimes emotions hold us back. They cause us to freeze in fear when about to deliver our speech. They cause us to continue being angry toward someone we should’ve forgiven long ago. They cause us to carry on being addicted to gambling, or bad relationships. Yes, emotions have a lot to answer for! But the good thing is that you can control your emotions just as simply as you’d control a light switch. Turning them off is as simple as. You see, the secret you must realise is this:
You are not your emotions. That’s right. You are not your emotions. And your emotions
are not you. Emotions are just things that you experience. Rather than “I am angry,” a more accurate description might be “I am experiencing anger.” And rather than “I am courageous,” a more lucid version may be “I am feeling courageous.” So, emotions are just things you experience. Sometimes they feel good, sometimes they run riot. And you can switch them off as easily as you’d switch off a plug socket.
How? Through the process of releasing. Now, releasing is all about letting go of your negative emotions. When you let go of negative emotions, you’ll feel
lighter and more stress-free. You’ll enjoy greater freedom and feel more at peace with the world. Releasing is always a great idea. (You can let go of positive emotions too, and you’ll typically feel even more positive as a result.)
How can you release? Firstly, you need to recognize that we’re each desperately
holding onto our emotions – even those emotions that aren’t serving us. We’re clenching them, like we’d clench our hands around a pencil or a small ball. We’re holding on to that fear, that grief, that apathy – because we somehow think that it is us, and that we need it. But when we realise that we are not our emotions, and that
we don’t need it, we can simply choose to let it go. That is, we can unclench our fist – and allow that emotion to simply be free, or even drop out of our hands altogether. Let’s try it together. Think of something right now that you know is a concern for
you. It might be a situation at work, or a particular person you dislike, or just some general worry that you have. Make it a simple issue for now, just for starters.
Think of that thing, and notice the resistance that builds up in your stomach.
Then simply ask yourself the question: “Can I let this go?” Which is another way of saying: Can you unclench the grip you have around this feeling right now? Can you release the grip? Can you let go of the resistance? Can you just drop the
emotion attached to this issue? As you ask yourself “Can I let this go?” – breathe out, and answer honestly with “Yes” or “No” out loud. It doesn’t matter which you answer with, it’ll all provide you with an emotional release on some level. While exhaling, feel the release happening. Feel yourself unclenching that grip. Feel yourself just letting go of that emotion. Notice the difference? Remember, we are the ones that are holding on to our emotions. We are the ones that are causing them to continue living inside our minds. Would you prefer to hold on to your negative emotions even more, allowing them to bubble away inside your mind – or would you prefer to just let them go? Remember, by letting go, we’re not agreeing with it, or letting somebody off the hook. We’re simply releasing the emotion attached to it. We’re granting ourselves greater peace and serenity. Then, when you’re ready, connect to see whether that issuestill has any charge. If it does, repeat the process once more: connect with the issue, ask yourself “Can I let this go?”, answer “Yes” or “No” while breathing out, and feel the release. Loop on this entire process a few more times. You’ll soon begin to really feel very different about the whole issue. Within minutes, you’ll notice the emotion has drastically reduced in size – and may just have disappeared altogether. Right? Finished? How did that feel? Let’s try it once more. This time, make sure you follow through the entire process. Out loud, too, if you can. Again, think of a situation which brings up some resistance in your tummy. It might be an annoying person, or a small worry that you have right now. Get in touch with that sensation, that energy, that feeling. Then ask yourself: “Can I let this go?”
Answer the question out loud, with a “Yes” or “No,” while breathing out. Remember, any answer is fine, they both work the same magic. Just be honest.
As you answer, loosen your clutch on the emotion. Relax into the comfort. Release.
Feel yourself unclenching. Feel yourself letting go. Releasing feels great. It’s like the feeling you get when the doctors call you, after those worrying tests – and say you’ve got the all clear. It’s total relief. That’s releasing. To help you feel the release even further, imagine two doors in front of your stomach opening, allowing all of the negative emotion just to flow out – as you let go. Really feel it happening. Great! Finished? Now check how you feel. If there’s still any emotional charge left, no worries. That’s fine! Repeat the process until you feel better about the issue,
or want to finish. If you don’t feel any progress at all, don’t worry either. Just let go of trying to get results. Sometimes you’re too busy “watching” to really experience.
And if you answer “No” during the process and don’t feel yourself able to let go, don’tworry about that either. Every step, no matter how redundant it may feel, helps take you closer to emotional freedom. Just release on it and move on.
And that’s it, really. Releasing is the quickest and easiest method for letting go of
troublesome emotions. It’s the hidden process behind almost every therapy out there
– from psychotherapy to tribal drum therapy. Except here we’re just releasing the emotions directly, rather than fluffing up the process.
There’s no need to spend years sitting on a couch, going into your “back story” and analyzing precisely why things happened that way. Here, we just release – and move on.
It really is as simple as that.
Just connect with the emotion and ask yourself: “Can I let this
go?” – then breathe out, answer “Yes” or “No,” and feel
yourself letting go. Easy! Further Releasing Methods There are other ways of releasing, too – all based on the same core “letting go” principle.
One of the most popular is the three questions method. This was popularized by the late Lester Levenson, and is now taught in the Abundance Course
(www.releasetechnique.com) and The Sedona Method (www.sedona.com). This technique is based on the following premises:
1. We don’t know that we can let emotions go
2. We don’t want to let go of emotions
3. We always put off letting go until later
So, this method of releasing works by addressing each of
these questions – allowing us to cycle through, and slowly let go of the emotions that are holding us back.
Here are the steps:
1. Think of the situation, and connect with the emotion
you’d like to release.
2. Ask yourself: “Could I let this go?” (yes/no - answer out
loud, honestly)
3. Move on to ask: “Would I let this go?” (again, yes/no)
4. And then: “When?” (now/later)
5. Feel that release – then check to see how the situation feels. If there’s still some emotional charge, go back to step one and loop again: you’ll find some issues are
layered like onions, and are released over multiple passes. Or if you feel stuck in the actual process itself, let go of wanting to feel stuck, and start again – or rest for a while.
Another popular releasing method is the welcoming
technique, popularized by many releasing teachers,
including Chris Payne with his Effort-Free Life System
(www.effortfree.com).
Here are the steps to follow for this technique:
1. Lower your head and place your hand on your chest or
stomach. Get in touch with an emotion, or a situation
that has an emotional charge for you.
2. Notice the intensity of the feeling in your body, and rate
the intensity from 0 to 10.
3. Welcome the emotion, much as you’d welcome a friend
into your home. Welcoming doesn’t mean you agree or
forgive the emotion, just embrace it, accept it, welcome it.
Allow it to be there, instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.
Feel the welcoming.
4. Now get in touch with the emotion again. How does it feel?
5. Rate the intensity again, from 0 to 10. Keep going until it comes down to 0. If you feel stuck, ask yourself if you could let go of trying to change being stuck – or simply continue later. Releasing teacher Lester Levenson (whose work is now continued through The Abundance Course and The Sedona Method) also used to suggest that individuals try letting go of wanting control, approval and security too. These are general terms that can help you release on emotions right across the board. You know, releasing is about letting go of emotions. It’s about detachment. It’s what the Eastern world calls letting go of our attachments and aversions.
In the Western world, this releasing process is essentially the equivalent of saying:
“F**k it!”
(A wonderful argument set forth by John C. Parkin in his book of the same name.) Try each of these techniques yourself, and start using whichever suits you best. But remember to try them. Releasing isn’t just for reading about. It’s experiential.
Conclusion Releasing is a powerful method for gaining greater emotional freedom. It helps you realise that you are not your emotions – and thereby allows you to release all of the limiting thoughts, emotions and feelings that have held you back in the past. You’ll become happier, enjoy more self-empowerment, and simply be more free when you discover releasing for yourself.
Take time out to go through all of your issues, negative emotions, and the people in your life – releasing on each in turn. You’ll feel the benefits immediately. Just keep asking yourself “Can I let this go?” Practice it as often as you can – and do it all the time. Even when you’re talking to somebody, you can release there and then, in that moment. It’s simple and it’s easy.
We feel grief after the death of a family member. We feel anger when somebody rubs us up the wrong way. We feel pride when we do a great job. Emotions are useful, and help make us human. But sometimes emotions hold us back. They cause us to freeze in fear when about to deliver our speech. They cause us to continue being angry toward someone we should’ve forgiven long ago. They cause us to carry on being addicted to gambling, or bad relationships. Yes, emotions have a lot to answer for! But the good thing is that you can control your emotions just as simply as you’d control a light switch. Turning them off is as simple as
You are not your emotions. That’s right. You are not your emotions. And your emotions
are not you. Emotions are just things that you experience. Rather than “I am angry,” a more accurate description might be “I am experiencing anger.” And rather than “I am courageous,” a more lucid version may be “I am feeling courageous.” So, emotions are just things you experience. Sometimes they feel good, sometimes they run riot. And you can switch them off as easily as you’d switch off a plug socket.
How? Through the process of releasing. Now, releasing is all about letting go of your negative emotions. When you let go of negative emotions, you’ll feel
lighter and more stress-free. You’ll enjoy greater freedom and feel more at peace with the world. Releasing is always a great idea. (You can let go of positive emotions too, and you’ll typically feel even more positive as a result.)
How can you release? Firstly, you need to recognize that we’re each desperately
holding onto our emotions – even those emotions that aren’t serving us. We’re clenching them, like we’d clench our hands around a pencil or a small ball. We’re holding on to that fear, that grief, that apathy – because we somehow think that it is us, and that we need it. But when we realise that we are not our emotions, and that
we don’t need it, we can simply choose to let it go. That is, we can unclench our fist – and allow that emotion to simply be free, or even drop out of our hands altogether. Let’s try it together. Think of something right now that you know is a concern for
you. It might be a situation at work, or a particular person you dislike, or just some general worry that you have. Make it a simple issue for now, just for starters.
Think of that thing, and notice the resistance that builds up in your stomach.
Then simply ask yourself the question: “Can I let this go?” Which is another way of saying: Can you unclench the grip you have around this feeling right now? Can you release the grip? Can you let go of the resistance? Can you just drop the
emotion attached to this issue? As you ask yourself “Can I let this go?” – breathe out, and answer honestly with “Yes” or “No” out loud. It doesn’t matter which you answer with, it’ll all provide you with an emotional release on some level. While exhaling, feel the release happening. Feel yourself unclenching that grip. Feel yourself just letting go of that emotion. Notice the difference? Remember, we are the ones that are holding on to our emotions. We are the ones that are causing them to continue living inside our minds. Would you prefer to hold on to your negative emotions even more, allowing them to bubble away inside your mind – or would you prefer to just let them go? Remember, by letting go, we’re not agreeing with it, or letting somebody off the hook. We’re simply releasing the emotion attached to it. We’re granting ourselves greater peace and serenity. Then, when you’re ready, connect to see whether that issuestill has any charge. If it does, repeat the process once more: connect with the issue, ask yourself “Can I let this go?”, answer “Yes” or “No” while breathing out, and feel the release. Loop on this entire process a few more times. You’ll soon begin to really feel very different about the whole issue. Within minutes, you’ll notice the emotion has drastically reduced in size – and may just have disappeared altogether. Right? Finished? How did that feel? Let’s try it once more. This time, make sure you follow through the entire process. Out loud, too, if you can. Again, think of a situation which brings up some resistance in your tummy. It might be an annoying person, or a small worry that you have right now. Get in touch with that sensation, that energy, that feeling. Then ask yourself: “Can I let this go?”
Answer the question out loud, with a “Yes” or “No,” while breathing out. Remember, any answer is fine, they both work the same magic. Just be honest.
As you answer, loosen your clutch on the emotion. Relax into the comfort. Release.
Feel yourself unclenching. Feel yourself letting go. Releasing feels great. It’s like the feeling you get when the doctors call you, after those worrying tests – and say you’ve got the all clear. It’s total relief. That’s releasing. To help you feel the release even further, imagine two doors in front of your stomach opening, allowing all of the negative emotion just to flow out – as you let go. Really feel it happening. Great! Finished? Now check how you feel. If there’s still any emotional charge left, no worries. That’s fine! Repeat the process until you feel better about the issue,
or want to finish. If you don’t feel any progress at all, don’t worry either. Just let go of trying to get results. Sometimes you’re too busy “watching” to really experience.
And if you answer “No” during the process and don’t feel yourself able to let go, don’tworry about that either. Every step, no matter how redundant it may feel, helps take you closer to emotional freedom. Just release on it and move on.
And that’s it, really. Releasing is the quickest and easiest method for letting go of
troublesome emotions. It’s the hidden process behind almost every therapy out there
– from psychotherapy to tribal drum therapy. Except here we’re just releasing the emotions directly, rather than fluffing up the process.
There’s no need to spend years sitting on a couch, going into your “back story” and analyzing precisely why things happened that way. Here, we just release – and move on.
It really is as simple as that.
Just connect with the emotion and ask yourself: “Can I let this
go?” – then breathe out, answer “Yes” or “No,” and feel
yourself letting go. Easy! Further Releasing Methods There are other ways of releasing, too – all based on the same core “letting go” principle.
One of the most popular is the three questions method. This was popularized by the late Lester Levenson, and is now taught in the Abundance Course
(www.releasetechnique.com) and The Sedona Method (www.sedona.com). This technique is based on the following premises:
1. We don’t know that we can let emotions go
2. We don’t want to let go of emotions
3. We always put off letting go until later
So, this method of releasing works by addressing each of
these questions – allowing us to cycle through, and slowly let go of the emotions that are holding us back.
Here are the steps:
1. Think of the situation, and connect with the emotion
you’d like to release.
2. Ask yourself: “Could I let this go?” (yes/no - answer out
loud, honestly)
3. Move on to ask: “Would I let this go?” (again, yes/no)
4. And then: “When?” (now/later)
5. Feel that release – then check to see how the situation feels. If there’s still some emotional charge, go back to step one and loop again: you’ll find some issues are
layered like onions, and are released over multiple passes. Or if you feel stuck in the actual process itself, let go of wanting to feel stuck, and start again – or rest for a while.
Another popular releasing method is the welcoming
technique, popularized by many releasing teachers,
including Chris Payne with his Effort-Free Life System
(www.effortfree.com).
Here are the steps to follow for this technique:
1. Lower your head and place your hand on your chest or
stomach. Get in touch with an emotion, or a situation
that has an emotional charge for you.
2. Notice the intensity of the feeling in your body, and rate
the intensity from 0 to 10.
3. Welcome the emotion, much as you’d welcome a friend
into your home. Welcoming doesn’t mean you agree or
forgive the emotion, just embrace it, accept it, welcome it.
Allow it to be there, instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.
Feel the welcoming.
4. Now get in touch with the emotion again. How does it feel?
5. Rate the intensity again, from 0 to 10. Keep going until it comes down to 0. If you feel stuck, ask yourself if you could let go of trying to change being stuck – or simply continue later. Releasing teacher Lester Levenson (whose work is now continued through The Abundance Course and The Sedona Method) also used to suggest that individuals try letting go of wanting control, approval and security too. These are general terms that can help you release on emotions right across the board. You know, releasing is about letting go of emotions. It’s about detachment. It’s what the Eastern world calls letting go of our attachments and aversions.
In the Western world, this releasing process is essentially the equivalent of saying:
“F**k it!”
(A wonderful argument set forth by John C. Parkin in his book of the same name.) Try each of these techniques yourself, and start using whichever suits you best. But remember to try them. Releasing isn’t just for reading about. It’s experiential.
Conclusion Releasing is a powerful method for gaining greater emotional freedom. It helps you realise that you are not your emotions – and thereby allows you to release all of the limiting thoughts, emotions and feelings that have held you back in the past. You’ll become happier, enjoy more self-empowerment, and simply be more free when you discover releasing for yourself.
Take time out to go through all of your issues, negative emotions, and the people in your life – releasing on each in turn. You’ll feel the benefits immediately. Just keep asking yourself “Can I let this go?” Practice it as often as you can – and do it all the time. Even when you’re talking to somebody, you can release there and then, in that moment. It’s simple and it’s easy.
Day 29: A World of New Encounters
from how to heal a broken heart in 30 days
You are finally learning to define yourself as just who you are, not as mate who is tied to another. when you can take joy in that fact, your future opportunists will of course become greater. As you heal and begin to look around once again, here's a checklist to help afford you some guidance. give all of these ideas time to take hold:
1. how do you feel? people can read a lack of self-confidence in your eyes. here's cruel fact: it's a turnoff. don't amble among strangers until you're easily able to step out with a smile and keep your head held high. if you project a sense of vulnerability, you may attract a rescuer. that someone may give you emotional support in exchange for your love. but beware, basing your dealings on this kind of dependency may stunt your emotional evolution.
2. how do you look? do you look your best? have you let yourself go? do you need to get back in shape or restyle your hair?
3. where do you look? how do you meet people? what kind of places make you feel comfortable about talking to strangers? do you have a list of places you can go with friends? do you use a dating services?
4. how are your social skills? were you once a good flirt? are you still? can you laugh easily and make other people laugh with you? do you see yourself as someone who you'd want to spend time with? or are you showing even the least little bit of desperation?
5. practice making new friends and acquaintances every day of the week. the best loves are often born of genuine friendships.
6.when you want to develop any relationships in depth, seek to meet your own emotional need first rather than satisfying the expressed expectation of others.
7. don't be a 'pleasure pig' stay away from high speed fantasy flings. don't simply seek the visceral thrill of making a conquest. if you keep falling and flailing your way into and out of what you may somehow call love, you'll end up running in circles rather than growing. recognize where your true satisfaction comes from and work patiently towards that end.
8. before you even consider falling in love with anyone again at some time in the future, get a sense of where they may take you. seek out their hearts and the beauty within them before you seek to do anything else.
9. look for love in a lot of new places and ways. perhaps the reason you've got a track record for hunting is that you've made the same mistakes with each new relationship. and just because someone responds to your overtures doesn't mean that they will be suitable for you. romance may be magic but its spells are by no means easy to master.
10. don't make any new lover pay for your old traumas. don't look for new love to cure your old ills. that's your job, not theirs.
11. learn how to cut your losses more quickly. keep your emotional bags packed and parked by the door, until you're absolutely sure this one's for you. if you do not have a good feeling about someone, move on quickly but as graciously as possible. otherwise, you'll pay the price of dealing with more pain.
12. don't show off the scars from you past relationships. new prospects may only conclude you're a professional victims and head for the hills.
13. take stock of who you are privately, when you're relaxed with your guard down. that's the real you, the person you should project when you are ready to openly pursue a compatible mate.
14. give people a chance, but don't ignore your instincts. be a good interior detective, especially regarding your own needs. acknowledge it early if there are ultimately going to be irreconcilable difference. even if the love seems strong at the time, these unresolved issues will eventually undermine that foundation.
go ahead. mix with the world. even if you're far from ready to fall back in love, just find new interactions that you genuinely enjoy.
take small, safe steps of a child if you must, in order to get yourself back out there again. meet new people by mixing in familiar groups and in casual circumstances at first. the small positive social steps you take can pay off in friendships almost immediately. you may someday choose to take romantic chances again, but only after getting your feet back on the ground. that's when you'll be able to make wiser choices.
the form your future happiness takes is completely up to you. you are the artist that will colour the rest of your life. give yourself the freedom you need to find your own beauty.
-- love, loss, injury and recovery are some of the most powerful teaching tools given to us by life's designers. embrace their cycle: renew your own meanings. now's the time to relieve your heart of the weight of your loss so you may once again rise to the healing powers of love. it surrounds you always.
You are finally learning to define yourself as just who you are, not as mate who is tied to another. when you can take joy in that fact, your future opportunists will of course become greater. As you heal and begin to look around once again, here's a checklist to help afford you some guidance. give all of these ideas time to take hold:
1. how do you feel? people can read a lack of self-confidence in your eyes. here's cruel fact: it's a turnoff. don't amble among strangers until you're easily able to step out with a smile and keep your head held high. if you project a sense of vulnerability, you may attract a rescuer. that someone may give you emotional support in exchange for your love. but beware, basing your dealings on this kind of dependency may stunt your emotional evolution.
2. how do you look? do you look your best? have you let yourself go? do you need to get back in shape or restyle your hair?
3. where do you look? how do you meet people? what kind of places make you feel comfortable about talking to strangers? do you have a list of places you can go with friends? do you use a dating services?
4. how are your social skills? were you once a good flirt? are you still? can you laugh easily and make other people laugh with you? do you see yourself as someone who you'd want to spend time with? or are you showing even the least little bit of desperation?
5. practice making new friends and acquaintances every day of the week. the best loves are often born of genuine friendships.
6.when you want to develop any relationships in depth, seek to meet your own emotional need first rather than satisfying the expressed expectation of others.
7. don't be a 'pleasure pig' stay away from high speed fantasy flings. don't simply seek the visceral thrill of making a conquest. if you keep falling and flailing your way into and out of what you may somehow call love, you'll end up running in circles rather than growing. recognize where your true satisfaction comes from and work patiently towards that end.
8. before you even consider falling in love with anyone again at some time in the future, get a sense of where they may take you. seek out their hearts and the beauty within them before you seek to do anything else.
9. look for love in a lot of new places and ways. perhaps the reason you've got a track record for hunting is that you've made the same mistakes with each new relationship. and just because someone responds to your overtures doesn't mean that they will be suitable for you. romance may be magic but its spells are by no means easy to master.
10. don't make any new lover pay for your old traumas. don't look for new love to cure your old ills. that's your job, not theirs.
11. learn how to cut your losses more quickly. keep your emotional bags packed and parked by the door, until you're absolutely sure this one's for you. if you do not have a good feeling about someone, move on quickly but as graciously as possible. otherwise, you'll pay the price of dealing with more pain.
12. don't show off the scars from you past relationships. new prospects may only conclude you're a professional victims and head for the hills.
13. take stock of who you are privately, when you're relaxed with your guard down. that's the real you, the person you should project when you are ready to openly pursue a compatible mate.
14. give people a chance, but don't ignore your instincts. be a good interior detective, especially regarding your own needs. acknowledge it early if there are ultimately going to be irreconcilable difference. even if the love seems strong at the time, these unresolved issues will eventually undermine that foundation.
go ahead. mix with the world. even if you're far from ready to fall back in love, just find new interactions that you genuinely enjoy.
take small, safe steps of a child if you must, in order to get yourself back out there again. meet new people by mixing in familiar groups and in casual circumstances at first. the small positive social steps you take can pay off in friendships almost immediately. you may someday choose to take romantic chances again, but only after getting your feet back on the ground. that's when you'll be able to make wiser choices.
the form your future happiness takes is completely up to you. you are the artist that will colour the rest of your life. give yourself the freedom you need to find your own beauty.
-- love, loss, injury and recovery are some of the most powerful teaching tools given to us by life's designers. embrace their cycle: renew your own meanings. now's the time to relieve your heart of the weight of your loss so you may once again rise to the healing powers of love. it surrounds you always.
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